Thursday, April 12, 2012

JORDAN ALMONDS - Are They From Jordan?

That’s not what this story’s about – so here’s the answer. No they are not. Here’s a little history if you need a digression.

When my brother and I met up in Florida for the first time in about a year – to celebrate our fifty something birthdays – we  had our birthday dinner, and then we stepped outside into an upscale outdoor Florida mall – and happened upon an outdoor acoustic show, an ice scream store and something called  It'Sugar.

 Yes there is such a place and it carries exactly what you’d expect. Only unlike the mall candy stores I’d seen in the past – this place was supersized – and it carried fewer items – but seemingly picked by Martha Stewart because the colors in the various displays were so coordinated – with such abundance and sleek plastic looking  sugar coatings - that you couldn't help but approach.
And when my brother and I made our way around the plastic looking candy, walking quickly past the gummi bears, and tennis ball size jaw breakers, we both suddenly stopped at jumbo sized pastel colored Jordan Almonds. 
“I’ve  always loved them” we both said at the same time.

He immediately grabbed a bag and we surrendered to the type of indulgence one only confesses to family members or former college roommates who know the true you. We purchased some…..or I should say, my brother purchased some. A quarter of a pound to be exact.
I was witnessing a frugal Taurus, in action. I called him on it.
“Shouldn’t we get more?” I asked truly puzzled at the paltry 18 or so almonds in the clear plastic bag.
“But Sue “ he practically whined” they’re $6.99 pound. “

To me, being the overly indulgent Aries, abundance is key and this was falling far short. I piped up: “Who cares, they’re here and so are we. Do you think we won’t want more?”
He was certain we had enough and I didn’t want to look like the overindulgent person I am, so I said nothing further.

By the time we returned to the beach house, and mellowed into some 123 Boggle and mind-numbing tv favorites (e.g., Law and Order) and delicious laughs from “Modern Family” – the Jordan Almonds were gone.
Not only were they gone, by the next day – we started to make only slightly out of the way Jordan Almond runs.   CVS – which seems to be on every corner in Florida – didn’t carry them.

My brother, surprised me with abundant knowledge about food stocking - here was a family resource I was glad to tap into.... He accurately reported:”“Nah, no one carries this – CVS is paid to only carry the big brands – a one off item like this isn’t going to be here.”  Could he be right, I wondered. Surely at Easter we could find them everywhere.
But he was right. See for yourself:

                                                            NO JORDAN ALMONDS AT CVS
I was bewildered but as I perused the shelves –there was no doubt about it. There were no Jordan Almonds.  And that was true everywhere else we looked too.

Where are they from? Jordan?

Turns out we finally found them in the nut section of Publix – miracle of miracle and then had enough to sustain us for the next several days, as well as the car ride back to New York.
 Who would have thought this little Florida foray would have uncovered such a long held secret – hidden from a family member with the same DNA and same secret craving for these sugar coated delights.

I know that by the time my brother returned to California, he had given up the search for these lusty almonds. But me, well this was one familial common denominator – that once reactivated – was hard to suppress or repress.

Just as we had in Florida, I began searching for them. After all, it was the week before Easter so they should have been standly proudly beside the Little Peeps and the ever precious and wonderful Cadbury Eggs (the secret treat that Amanda and I share) – but no – the Jordan Almonds were nowhere to be found.

Not at the A & P amid the nut shelves, not in the off-major-brand drug store Value Drug – nor other places where I thought they may be – places not like CVS  which are nationwide and shut out minor brands….I learned CVS essentially only carries M&M products. I was searching for these precious nuts – not just for myself – but for my beloved brother too. He’d left some stuff behind and I wanted to surprise him by returning not only his random possessions – but also by enclosing some Jordan Almonds.

And then lo and behold – just when I had given up – there they were. Tucked on the bottom of the dried fruit and nut section of a local neighborhood gourmet store. Three little containers – incredibly overpriced (yes Richard – a lot more than the $6.99/lb) and I scooped them up – all three. (No Jessie, I didn’t leave any just in case some other desperate soul came in looking – sorry!)
                                                         HERE THEY ARE ON THE KITCHEN TABLE
So at long last I was ready to send off the little memento to my brother. But what do you think happened next?
I’d ask you to turn this upside down to read the answer, but I’m sure you don’t need to turn your monitors on end – nor do I know how to type upside down….

[Secret Answer: There is only one Jordan Almond tub remaining. I hope to send it to my brother soon– but I can’t swear to it.]
Happy Spring and Here's To Abundant Jordan Almonds - adding a sweetness to all of our lives.


  1. Hahahaha! This made me laugh so hard! I bought Amanda some girl scout cookies on a benevolent mission, I ate 3 of the boxes myself, then had to replace them. They're still in my house, and now out of season, and it's getting harder to convince myself to send them along. Guess it IS in the DNA!

  2. Thanks for the admission. I don't want to even publish how many boxes of GS cookies I purchased for others vs. how many were or will actually be given away....that must be in the DNA too!